Thank you for your efforts rather than thank you for your help
Expressing gratitude is something we often do. However, different expressions have different effects. How can you express your gratitude in a way that makes the other person feel more sincere? Psychologists at the University of Toronto in Canada recently explored this issue.
Researchers believe that expressing gratitude Love usually comes in two forms. One is to acknowledge the other person's contribution to him, such as "I have caused you trouble"; the other is to thank the other party for his "response" and importance, such as "without your help, I couldn't do this at all". The researchers hypothesized that the first way of thanking would remind the person who helped that he had "sacrificed" and that others had benefited from him, and that there was an imbalance in the relationship between the two, causing an uncomfortable feeling; while the second way of thanking would have Let the helper know they have done a good deed and it will lift their mood. To test their hypothesis, the researchers invited nearly 100 couples to participate in a two-week diary study. Each night, they recalled and recorded questions related to their partner's expression of gratitude and answered how they viewed the expression of gratitude. The final analysis results supported the above hypothesis: when partners thanked them for participating in helping and being important, their emotions were more positive than when they were thanked for "the price they paid."
The study, published in the Journal of Society and Human Relations, suggests that the first type of thank you causes people to think about relationships in a "transactional mode," emphasizing one person's loss and the other's. Benefit, "sense of indebtedness" makes both parties uncomfortable. And thanking the other party for responding to your needs will highlight the mutually helping nature of the relationship. It praises the other party personally rather than "paying", and enhances the sense of value and trust. (Guo Tieliang)