Double standards stem from self-protection
Mai Shunpian, a national second-level psychological counselor
Every time we take the subway or bus, if there are many people squeezing up, we often think in our hearts: There are so many people, why are we still squeezing? , can’t we wait for the next trip? However, when we are squeezing up, we will think: Why don’t you just go inside again? It’s not easy for everyone. "Double standards" refers to using different standards to measure oneself and others. It is very common in life and is often criticized as a selfish behavior. But from a psychological point of view, everyone has double standards, because no one can transcend themselves and be purely objective, and their evaluation of themselves and others will naturally be different. This is related to the attribution method.
Attribution theory believes that people often Attributing other people's behavior to intrinsic traits such as personality or attitude, while ignoring the importance of their situation; but when explaining one's own behavior, more emphasis is placed on objective factors rather than personal factors. For example, when others squeeze onto the bus, it’s because “those people only think about themselves and don’t care about the feelings of others.” But when I squeeze into the bus, it’s because “I’m really in a hurry.” Others fail to do well in exams because “they don’t work hard.” ", and the reason why I didn't do well in the exam was because of "bad luck and poor condition." Because we understand all aspects of ourselves better, it is easier to find objective reasons to explain our behavior when problems arise; and we will not be so "polite" to other people, especially those who have conflicts of interest with us. Objectively" and will blame others for their own reasons.
Not only are we stricter with others and more tolerant of ourselves, we are also more likely to underestimate others and overestimate ourselves. You can try to do an experiment: Now, please rate your potential from 1 to 7. 1 means that the potential is much higher than the demonstrated ability; 4 means that the potential is consistent with the current ability; 7 means that the current ability is far beyond Potential; then, rate a friend or colleague around you in the same way. Comparatively, which one is higher? The results in the laboratory show that the average score given by experimental participants to themselves is 3.4 points, and the average score given to acquaintances is 4.3 points. Most people give themselves lower scores, that is to say Think that your potential is greater.
Attribution bias and double standards are actually instincts. They are all to protect self-esteem and unconsciously make sure that oneself is excellent and unique. Therefore, everyone has double standards to some extent. But you can take the initiative to overcome it and try to avoid particularly unobjective evaluations of yourself and others. For example, when evaluating others, you can first reflect on whether you have had similar behaviors and whether there are objective factors affecting what others have done. If you think more about others' perspective, you will make less subjective judgments.