Take three classes to make up for your mental toughness
Zhang Xiaoming, deputy director of the clinical psychology department of Beijing Huilongguan Hospital
Not long ago, a 12-year-old girl in Anqing, Anhui Province ranked first in her grade in the monthly exam. The head teacher questioned her and arranged for a make-up exam. One day later The girl drowned in the pond. After the incident was exposed, countless people were disappointed. However, what is even more alarming is that similar incidents continue to occur. When talking about the increasingly prominent problem of mental disorders among children and adolescents in my country in recent years, Professor Yang Xiong, a researcher at the Institute of Youth Research of the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, used the word "shocking" to describe it. He believes that the occurrence of such tragedies is closely related to the widespread social anxiety and the lack of corresponding education for children and adolescents in our country.
Mental and psychological problems between 12 and 18 years old Gaofa
The 13-year-old Lele (pseudonym) has always been a good child in the eyes of her parents with good moral character and academic excellence. However, not long ago she began to get tired of studying, lost her temper for no reason, often bit her fingers, and even chose to scratch her fingers with a knife. Use your arms to express your emotions. After the numerous scars on Lele's arms were discovered, her parents took her to the hospital. The doctor diagnosed that Lele was suffering from severe depression. In the previous four years, she had scratched herself with a knife many times and even wrote a suicide note. However, due to the lack of emotional communication between parents and children, Lele's parents never noticed anything strange.
Zhang Xiaoming, deputy director of the clinical psychology department of Beijing Huilongguan Hospital, told the "Life Times" reporter that there are more and more children like Lele in clinical practice. Among the outpatients in the psychiatric department, the proportion of children and adolescents has increased from less than 20% 10 years ago to 80% to 90% now, and the number of appointment bookings has become increasingly "tight". Children have become a "need" population in outpatient clinics.
Data from the "China National Mental Health Development Report (2017-2018)" show that the overall prevalence of psychological abnormalities among Chinese school-age children and adolescents is 15.6%. Among children and adolescents under the age of 17, at least 3,000 Thousands of people suffer from various mood disorders and behavioral problems. Especially in the past year or two, this problem has become more prominent. In 2020, a survey on the mental health status of more than 1,200 children and adolescents in grades 4 to 8 in two counties in Chizhou City, Anhui Province found that depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts among children and adolescents have increased. Compared with the first survey this year, students' depressive symptoms increased by 50%, self-harm behaviors increased by 35%, and suicidal thoughts increased by 32% in the second survey.
Zhang Xiaoming said that common mental and psychological problems among children and adolescents include depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc. The symptoms of children and adolescents are often atypical, often with study weariness, non-suicidal self-injury, and Internet addiction as the main manifestations or reasons for medical treatment. Two phenomena are particularly worthy of attention: First, adults aged 12 to 18 years oldThe age group with the highest incidence of mental and psychological problems; secondly, early depression often cannot be detected in time.
Children generally lack “three-life education”
Many parents can’t understand why their children are so fragile that they develop mental problems even though their living conditions are better and they have fewer things to worry about. Woolen cloth?
Yang Xiong said that this is first of all the projection of social anxiety on children, especially the transmission role of parents. For example, some parents have obsessive-compulsive disorder or are often anxious, and often find it difficult to control their emotions. If their children do something wrong or fail to meet their requirements, they will get angry or even act hysterical, causing serious uncertainty and dissatisfaction in their children. sense of security. Many children even feel that they are living for their parents.
"I know that I am just a toy in the family." Such a sentence said by a young outpatient patient left a deep impression on Zhang Xiaoming. He is a child whose academic performance has always been among the best in the region. Under the influence of his parents' ideas, getting good grades became his only survival goal. Due to being too nervous, his performance was abnormal. After failing the college entrance examination, he suddenly collapsed and suffered from severe depression, self-harm and suicidal behavior. Lele, mentioned above, also experienced pressure from her parents. Lele's father is particularly strong, and her mother doesn't know how to respect her children's ideas. She often punishes her children for their mistakes with reprimand and corporal punishment. She even installed cameras at home to monitor Lele. Children who are always under the pressure of their parents have no sense of the meaning of their existence and do not know why they live. The standard by which she evaluates herself is how others see her. Once she receives negative evaluation or rejection, she will suffer from emotional breakdown and even have thoughts of suicide.
Zhang Xiaoming said that the mental and psychological problems of children and adolescents are the result of multiple factors at the biological, psychological and social levels. They also reflect the lack of a stable sense of self-identity, insufficient psychological adjustment ability, and stress resistance among Chinese children. Problems such as insufficient ability require the promotion of mental health of children and adolescents from the perspectives of individuals, families, schools, and society.
Yang Xiong added that the lack of "three-life education", namely life education, survival education and life education, has also aggravated the psychological problems of children and adolescents. Life education mainly guides children in terms of their outlook on life and values, allowing them to understand life, respect life, cherish life and develop life, and protect their own life while respecting the lives of others. Survival education is to allow children to realize the meaning of survival, improve their ability to survive, strengthen their will to survive, and establish the concept of survival in which man, nature and society develop harmoniously. It can teach children to judge and choose the correct way of survival, as well as to cope with survival crises and get out of difficulties. , treat setbacks well, develop a certain working ability, and be able to settle down in society; setback education and stress resistance education are key contents of survival education. Life education emphasizes that children should practice their own actions, realize the meaning of life, feel the joy of life, and enjoy the sense of accomplishment gained through their own efforts.
Start with parents improving themselves
Child youthOnce a teenager's mental and psychological distress develops to the level of a disease, treatment will take a long time. Zhang Xiaoming said that even if the treatment of severe depression is relatively smooth, it will take at least 3 to 5 years. Therefore, in order to avoid tragedies, parents should not only pay attention to their children's psychological changes at all times and seek medical treatment promptly when problems arise, but more importantly, start from themselves, learn to respect and understand their children, tolerate and accompany them, and face and bear pressure with their children. .
Yang Xiong emphasized that there are big problems in the current social education evaluation system, which leads parents to only value grades. In order to make their children stand out in the future, they constantly pass on the anxiety of success or failure to their children. . On the one hand, the government needs to play a baton role to further promote the reform of the education evaluation system; on the other hand, parents should also consciously resolve their own anxiety and deliver a more positive emotional impact to their children.
1. Express respect. Children are individuals who develop independently and have their own desires and pursuits. Parents cannot feel that "the children don't understand anything" and neglect to show respect. Children, especially those entering adolescence, need more personal space.
2. Lower expectations. Most of the pressure on teenagers now comes from academics and interpersonal relationships, and the direct source is that parents have too high demands on their children. Appropriately lowering expectations and informing them can greatly relieve their psychological pressure.
3. Harmonious atmosphere. Parents should balance the relationship between work and family, and put the parent-child relationship in an important position. If the parent-child relationship is very tense, it will be difficult for the children to accept the ideas from their parents, and they may even rebel.
4. Teach by words and deeds. Parents must first do a good job in their own psychological construction. Studies have found that children whose parents are depressed have an increased risk of developing depression and other emotional problems. Therefore, when facing setbacks or negative events, parents should set an example and avoid various breakdown behaviors, such as anger, accusations, and even verbal abuse. When children encounter setbacks, parents need to listen to their feelings, accompany them through the experience, acknowledge these uncomfortable feelings, and then provide guidance.
5. Let go appropriately. Being too protective can also make children lose their ability to withstand stress. Every child should learn to experience and deal with problems independently and get out of difficult situations. In daily life, parents should encourage their children to develop personal interests, feel a sense of self-achievement, and then find the meaning of their lives.
Yang Xiong said that moral education is the root, and when the roots grow strong, children can withstand wind and waves; intellectual education is nutrition, and children can grow with sufficient nutrition; sports is the trunk, and through physical exercise, children can become strong and the trunk can It stands; labor education and aesthetic education are blossoming and bearing fruit. If any aspect is lacking, children will not be able to grow up healthily. As the cradle of children's growth, schools can do many things. For example, they can create an environment that respects the individuality of each child and downplay the atmosphere of judging merit by grades; improve the mental health of teachers, set up a "three-life education" system curriculum, and Establish linkage with relevant professional institutions and conduct regular psychological screening of students in order to detect problems early and provide targeted guidance.