Marriage experts suggest: these topics must be discussed before marriage
The foundation of marriage is love, but this does not mean that you can get a long-lasting marriage just by being passionate. Recently, the "MSN Life" website published an article stating that before marriage, both men and women should have an honest conversation about some important issues, and it is best to reach a consensus, so as to make the married life happier and longer. Here are a few must-talk topics suggested by marriage experts.
The meaning of marriage. Dr. Tina, an American psychotherapist, said that if they cannot deeply understand what marriage means to each other, then the two people are likely to repeat the mistakes of the past and find it difficult to achieve a healthy and good marital relationship.
How to get along with each other’s family members. Marriage is not as simple as holding hands with someone, it means becoming a member of that person's family. Therefore, be sure to have a thorough discussion about how to deal with your partner's family, such as how often you will visit your elders, and how much involvement you want your partner's family to have in your marriage.
How to celebrate the holidays. Many people ignore this topic before marriage. However, marriage experts say that if there is no sufficient communication in advance, differences in aspects such as going home for holidays and celebrating birthdays will lead to serious conflicts in the marriage.
Sex life. Marriage and family life expert Meyers, author of "Recovering Love to Keep Your Marriage from Cheating," says talking about sex early on. "If there is an imbalance between two people in terms of sex, then the differences in desire, risk-taking, and sexual stimulation will definitely come to the fore." Meyers suggested that both men and women must consider how much sexual contact they need before marriage (if there is no way to do so) How to live a sexual life), how to maintain a sense of connection and closeness, what needs to be done to arouse the other person's desire, etc.
Parenting methods. Men and women often talk about whether to have children before marriage, but rarely discuss in depth how to be parents and how to raise children. In fact, the two of them should talk about the following topics, such as who will be the one to "set the rules" after having children, who will get up to change diapers every night, and whether they can accept that their lifestyle is completely disrupted when raising children.
Career planning. The two should discuss their career plans after marriage, such as whose career and work are more important, or whether their work is equally important and they cannot give up. If both are continuing their education to improve their career prospects, the two should talk about whether they should work toward better opportunities and how they would cope if one person suddenly loses his or her job.
Financial management issues. Although a man and a woman may have lived together and spent money together before marriage, marriage means that they are legally united in property. Before marriage, you should have an in-depth discussion on how to handle money issues after marriage, such as whether to open a joint bank account, how to raise money to pay for large purchases (such as first-time home purchases, travel and vacations), and how to save and spend money. What are the sales plans...
Health issues. Meyers said many people won't talk about or disclose medical history before marriage because they fear doing so will ruin the marriage. However, for the sake of a happy married life in the future, it is necessary to talk openly and honestly about the medical history of each family.