Tolerance can be developed
In life, we will find that some people curse just because they encounter a red light when driving, while some people are not anxious or annoyed even if they are stuck in traffic for half an hour for one kilometer. Why is there such a big difference in temper control? Some scholars believe that this is the "window of tolerance" at work.
Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, Southern Medical University Xiao Rong explained that the "tolerance window" can be understood as an interval, which is the range of emotions that can be tolerated. If it is within this range, the brain is in the optimal state of arousal, cognitive ability is normal, and all activities are carried out in an orderly manner; once the emotion exceeds the range and enters the high excitement zone, the brain will automatically fall into the "fight-flight mode". Leading to cognitive ability being suppressed and loss of sanity. If a person often overreacts to insignificant things, his tolerance window is too small and he is easily irritated. It can be seen that expanding this "window" helps us control our emotions and stay calm. Xiao Rong said that tolerance can be increased through training. You might as well try the following methods. With long-term training, you can regain emotional control.
Abdominal breathing. When inhaling, the chest should not rise and fall, and the abdomen should expand outward; when exhaling, the abdomen should be drawn in to expel all the air. The more pronounced the abdominal contraction is, the deeper the breath will be. The respiratory rate can be controlled at 5 to 7 times per minute, or inhale for 5 seconds, hold your breath for 1 to 2 seconds, and exhale for 10 seconds.
"Pour cold water on it". When emotions break out, they often feel "hot-headed" and "red-faced". At this time, if possible, you can take a 30-second cold shower to cool down your body; if it is inconvenient, you can soak your face in cold water to cool down your mind; or use ice packs and other cold objects to help cool down while holding your breath. Breathe for 6 to 8 seconds.
"54321" law. First, breathe slowly and name 5 things you see in front of you; then name 4 things you can feel at the moment, such as the table in front of you and the temperature of your skin; then name 3 sounds you hear, such as the honking of a car. The sound of a flute, the chirping of a bird; and 2 smells; and finally, tell one good thing about yourself.
Self-care hugs. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position; place your right hand on your left armpit and your left hand on your right shoulder, hug yourself; breathe slowly, focus on your fingers, feet, legs, abdomen and head, and feel the surrounding temperature If there are any changes, slowly calm yourself down.
Stimulate the senses. For example, rub your arms with your hands, do an exaggerated "space walk", chew crunchy food or gum, smell essential oils or foods with strong smells... take your senses away from the emotion of the moment.
Get a squeeze ball. Take a palm-sized ball, such as a tennis ball, rubber ball or yoga ball, and squeeze and release it evenly and slowly for 1 to 2 minutes..
Listen to the sound of the grain. Prepare a small balloon and fill it with quinoa, rice, beans and other grains; hold the balloon with both hands and roll it forward slowly, squeezing and kneading every turn and listen to the crunching sound of the grains.
Keep your brain busy. When you're feeling down, try naming the colors in your environment, counting the number of books on the shelf, describing an object in detail, or counting from 1 to 20.
It should be reminded that the tolerance window is not static and may change every moment. Especially when you are tired, hungry or sick, the window will become smaller, so make fewer decisions at these times. In addition, although practice can expand the window of tolerance, it needs to be sustained over many years and should not be rushed.